What If . . . All Your Friends Turned On You

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So why do I keep him around?

Because I only have two friends, he is one and my best friend is his best friend. I either put up with bad, immoral, immature behavior and have people in my life, or make a break and have no one. Time and location and circumstances prevent any new friends and moving is out of the question. Are you sure that, if you stopped talking to these people, the result would be depression and loneliness?

How do you know it will get worse if you cut the relationship? There are other choices for friendships, too. There are support groups online, sports teams in neighboring counties to join, etc. I know you say moving is not an option, but then I ask you, why? If you are miserable where you are, would a change of atmosphere be a horrible thing? Schools have tons of people to make friends with.

You just have to open yourself up to those opportunities which is scary, I know.

What If . . . All Your Friends Turned On You

I think it comes down to determining how you are willing to be treated, then taking action to create that reality. I find it hard to imagine an instance in which new friends are not possible. If nothing else, try talking to a trusted professor, counselor or maybe even therapist. I bet it would help you, too.

I cut off my ex who I dated for 2 months found out I was only being used as a rebound.. Sad thing we were good friends for 5 years prior. The day I cut him off I felt a big weight of poison leaving my life. Good for you for sticking up for yourself. Loved the article! Its so stupid!

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It makes me feel so angry and frustrated and depressed. One of them in particular has treated me terribly for many years. Will it look immature if I delete these people off my FB? Ohhhhhh Facebook. So much fun and so much stress! Nothing wrong with that. Just do a little hiding. Hi Amy, Your post was exactly what I was looking for. I have a friend who is very toxic, and whatever I do, she always tries to bring me down. She and I have been friends for 9 years.

We went to high school together, college together, and have even worked together. We used to have a great time together, until I got engaged to my now husband. He and I were together for four years before getting engaged.

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Coincidentally, she and her boyfriend got engaged three months after we did. She and her now husband have been competing with us ever since. We are always nice to them, but yet they are always condescending to us. My husband even helped her husband get a job, and now we feel like that backfired, because her husband is trying to out-do mine.

What do you think of this situation? How do we go about cutting ties? Hi Lauren! Thanks for having the courage to open up here so that your story can help someone else. We really appreciate it. Bottom line: if they keep acting that way, stop talking to them! Start distancing yourself or at least speak up about the way they treat you. Actively helping people who just keep hurting you is a form of self-sabotage. To clear your life of that nastiness, you may have to cut them off or limit the time you spend with them as much as possible.

I read this hoping to understand my situation as a person who was effectively albeit coldly completely cut loose by one of my very best friends. One day, about a year and a half ago, she just stopped speaking to me without any explanation as to why. I even apologized to her via e-mail a few times quite profusely. She was such a good friend that if I wronged her in any way, I was totally willing to accommodate her.

My Friends Turned Against Me!

Maybe gradually drifting is sometimes more key to getting rid of closer people or talking about issues for some kind of resolve. Try this post as well. Your situation is exactly why I suggest people try to talk it out with their friends before leaving the relationship.

I hope you still have a good support system without her. Stay strong, Apex. If it comes down to nostalgia alone, I think it may be time to move on. Have you tried to talk to her about what bothers you? Thanks for the help. Thanks for the tips.

1. There's a whole lot of drama

I hope it improves my outlook on life. Hey Lucas! Hope that helps! It is inspiring to me, I love the energy coming through-from your honesty about how you have cut people off in the past, to having the courage to have the talk. I can so relate, and it took me a long time to develop the maturity and capacity to not be hot and cold, but to be honest about how I am feeling. I recently reached out to her, after a few years, after my having grown a lot more, recently getting married to a very supportive, loving man; I wanted to know the reason for why she went cold I have learned not to assume, but to ask, today!

Her response was full of lots of hostility, bitterness, name calling-ouch! I offered what I could hope you get the help you need, come up and visit and stay for a weekend , but she took these in a very negative way.

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I am sitting on a response, just allowing myself to feel into the deeper truths of what my shortcomings might be as a friend, whether there is any truth to her pain around my actions, without shaming myself, and allowing the response if I make one to be my reality, not defensive, but loving- and not for her, but for me. I risked losing the friendship in order to more fully find me. I really valued this piece- it was so honest- I am still on a learning curve of communication and allowing others their feelings and not taking it on.

So happy to have helped, T! Wishing you all the best in forging new friendships without the score board! I love helping people, nothing gets my full attention, energy, or willpower like being there for someone. I spent a lot of time being supportive with his clinical depression, getting him and his gf back together, being there whenever he was down and needed to talk, trying to get him to do different things and see the world in a different light — the works.

I really valued him as a brother.